Thoughts....

Ok this is about my thoughts I had been having during my mostly silent drive up to Pittsburgh.

I wrote about how I didn't like the fact of publishing a blog telling about my story. Knowing that people have better things to do with their lives and straighten out rather then read about someone other persons adventures. I was kinda feeling guilty like I was yelling "HEY! Look at me!" I have assured myself that that's not what I am doing at all. Honestly that's totally cool if no one reads this. I have been writing in journals ever since I joined the army. The point of view of my journal is mostly like I am trying to explain myself to someone or explain something in a way where someday some one might read it. That's just how I naturally have always written. Then I also began to think of a lot of the books out there by travelers that many people do read. I remember one in particular that I read in high school called "Travels" by Michael Crichton. Also instead of writing everything down in a paper journal I have managed to pull myself out of that false thought of having it on paper is more meaningful then typing it on computer. That may be true to a point and some people that may be entirely true. Unfortunately most can't read my journal all that clearly including myself and once its online I don't have to worry about it getting ruined or lost. So yeah I convinced myself its ok to keep this journal, not a blog, but journal going.

The next thing I began to think about was how I needed to reorganize and focus my trip. As my dad says I am very much a go go go and do do do type of guy. Drives him crazy and to a point me as well. It takes discipline to slow yourself down and examine life and reflect. Something I enjoy and honestly desire but have not gotten a steady hold of. This trip, in my head, before it all started was to be that time. I NEED that time. I WANT that time. However it quickly became a do this, do that, see this, yade yade yada experience. I was feeling that and disappointed. What a better time and more fitting place to begin to slow down and recognize this thought then in the serenity of the "wild." Huh...that's funny...Wild being Serenity...the wilderness wild not the city wild. The hustle and bustle of city life is simulating and a lot of fun. However nothing can replace or replenish your soul like spending time out in nature by yourself and in my case spending a lot of that time praying. Those have been the most fulfilling and rewarding experiences all around. I guess that's why I yearn to be on top of a mountain during an awesome thunderstorm. Totally put in my place about being so small and vulnerable and just feeling the power of nature and what God has created. Only relying on Him....I don't know if your following or why I threw that in there. I am leaving that thought as quick as it came...lol

So yeah refocus and slow down. That's what I recognize I needed to do and that is what I am hoping to get while in Pittsburgh.