Where Have I been??!!

I know I know, I am terrible at keeping up with these things but then again its not like anyone is reading this with any anticipation or even reading this at all...lol. I should write a book, a good book, about an at times comedic but serious journey of a young kid trying to regain some lost ground and taking his time doing it through travel.

Just a quick overview since my last blog....I finished my road trip in the car....amazing huh. Man I had some great times and great stories just no discipline or motivation in keeping them posted online some day they may be in the book...

After I got home around April 16th I was there until May 16th, when I left for the Caribbean. However that short month I was home there was only about 2 weeks actually spent at the house. The rest of the time I was traveling with friends to Utah and Hanging out with Army Buddies that flew into Colorado for a visit. Then I was off...To Bonaire...with a possibility of not coming home.

I had been planning this trip most of my tour in Iraq knowing it was going to happen. My Aunt and Uncle have spoiled their Nieces and Nephews with an offer to come out and visit and do some diving. I was anxiously awaiting this 5 year old offer and I had the chance to do it once I got out. I bought my plane ticket out to Bonaire at the beginning of my road trip only planning on staying for two weeks.....haha....Well I left on May 16th and it is now the 10 of July and I am sitting in an Internet cafe, hungover, in Bonaire.

There is a long story to go along with all the time that has passed and what my goals have been and what I have done but the main reason for the post is to talk of last night.

I just got back from a two week vacation from my vacation and I spent it in Ecuador. Upon returning to Bonaire I have begun to finally re socialize myself. I spent awhile kind of a depressed person and frustrated with my intrinsic ways trying to figure that out and be ok with it. Well last night was a good re breather for me.

Now to paint the picture, I stick out like a sore thumb out here. Mostly because I got a shaggy haircut and a beard. I guess that's my claim to fame on this island. I can only imagine that people look at me with a curiosity wondering what my issue is. Anyhow I was finally having a really social evening with the people I have come to know out here on the island and was finishing up my drinking at a local bar called Havanas. The bar tender remembers me and always hooks me up with one of his specialty shots but tonight he was onstage with another talent, singing and strumming. He was good, real good. Well I had enough liquid courage to bust out of my lame ass inhibitions that I seem to carry around like a divers weight belt and during the middle of one of his songs I jumped onto the drum kit that was behind him on stage. I fell right into place and we just started grooving. The crowed loved it and I can only imagine what they were thinking of this strange Amish looking American actually doing something, presenting himself I guess...

Now I am not trying to blow myself up at all...He was good, he was great, I suck. But the excitement for me from all this was finally after 2 months I was starting to feel connected with people again and I was confident and happy enough about me as a person to just have a good night of enjoyment.

To know me personally I would have to tell you that I am not a very confident person and that I am pretty insecure in who I am. I think I can play a card that doesn't paint that picture but that is who I am. I am trying to use this time I have taken out here on the Island to get comfortable with being me and knowing myself and why I am the way I am. Why do I believe what I believe? What are my morals and living life principles that I am going to take ownership on?

Last night, I didn't hate myself for being quite and I didn't end the night wishing I did something different or being frustrated that I wasn't able to talk to a pretty girl. I just enjoyed the night. So for me it is worth Journaling about and for you probably not worth your time reading.

The rest of the night was spent spinning in circles while I layed down passed out on my bathroom floor after throwing up and sleeping in my hammock on my pourch overlooking the ocean in the Carribean Sea...